Why gnostic? Why gnow?

It's not new to me. I didn't just discover gnosticism. It came upon me slowly.

I was born into an a-religious family. My mother was baptized in the baptist church, my father in the methodist. Neither of them thought religion was an important part of raising children. Instead, my sister and I were allowed to explore the world and our understanding of it with our own senses.

I had a good childhood friend whose father was an episcopalian priest. We went to church the Easter before my sister was born, some christian church. Friends took me to various protestant gatherings: retreats, bonfires, youth groups, mass, etc. A good friend of mine introduced me to the "soup kitchen" at the methodist church.

The influence that stuck with me, though, was not christian. My grandfather was Greek Orthodox. I didn't know this, until I was much older. As far as I was concerned, he was not religious. Now I would call it pagan.

The thing about rural greek american families, is they had no orthodox church at which to worship. My grandfather was no different. He and his 8 or 9 siblings went every sunday to a russian orthodox church. As they grew old enough to realize no one was making them go, one by one, they stopped.

I was raised on my grandfather's stories of the Olympian gods. My pagan pantheon included gods, goddesses, heroes, heroines, and nymphs.

The Olympian tradition has been passed down for generations. It does not conflict with the orthodox faith directly. The two beliefs can co-exist. The olympian tradition would end, the gods would leave olympus, and a new age would start.

I went on to study religion and philosophy in college. Fascinated not by the differences in the world's religions, but by the similarities. The characters differ, but the stories (stripped down) are so very much the same.

I was thoroughly opposed to organized religion, for a long time. At least for myself. I didn't want someone, anyone, telling me what or how to believe or worship. I didn't understand going inside a building to pray, when god was so clearly everywhere.

I still think organized religion, all too often, causes more damage than good. One should come to their faith on their own terms, in their own way.

I am almost 30 now. I have been broken and put together so many times. I have lived a thousand lifetimes, and died a thousand tiny deaths. So, why now?

Now, is a new beginning for me. I lay here open wide to the world. Exposed and vulnerable, as I have never been before. In love. Now, is the time for all things to end and begin again.

I am a gnostic, I am a mystic, I am a spirit, I am here to share myself. Now and for the rest of my life.